Here we go again. The cookies have all been eaten – mostly wolfed down in the past few days. Bags of “junk” have been sent off with others not in quite the same dire state. Charts have been made, intentions sent. Ready, set….go. Again.
Here’s the thing: I wasn’t feeling all that awful. Yes, I put on the requisite 7-12 holiday pounds. Yes, I have whittled my wardrobe down to the same 3-4 stretchy pants and associated long sweaters. Yes, all those long months of training for my triathlon are but a sweet memory. Ok, not always so sweet. But I was feeling relaxed. And content. What’s so bad about that?
What is “bad” about that is how I am able to convince myself that it’s not so bad. Like the functioning alcoholic who compares herself to those that have lost it all, it’s really not the truth. It’s really just a matter of “yet”. I am not out of clothes to wear – yet. I am not feeling ill – yet. I am not totally depressed and ashamed of myself – yet, although I can feel that edging in, if truth be told.
I’ve decided that my phrase this year is “Worthy of Success”. I am worth being my best self. I deserve to achieve my dreams. I am worthy of living a life where I feel and look healthy, wealthy and wise. I feel worthy of living my life in the “After” picture!
Here we go!