You know how when you are shopping for a car, all you see are the cars you are looking at? Or if you’re trying to get pregnant, all you notice are babies? Or happy couples when you are lonely? All I am seeing now is “Apartment for Rent” signs.
I’m in the midst of a downsize, looking to go from home ownership to the (seemingly) less stressful life of apartment dwelling. The thought of picking up the phone and telling someone else to fix something is immensely pleasing, as is the idea of having a lot less STUFF. I’ve been working on that part. While I’ve done a lot of paring down, I realize this is a long, on-going process. And I’m ready for that fresh influx of energy I hear you receive when you “open the space”.
So back to the signs. Last night as I was walking my dog, I found myself drawn to any place that had the aforementioned sign posted. Even if it looked NOTHING like I what I had in mind. I literally heard myself say “I could make it work…” And this was not the first time in the past week. Case in point: I found a place that had 99% of the requirements. It was gorgeous, in the perfect location, the right price…except that is was on the 2nd floor, with access via a steep set of wooden stairs. If I am living in an “alternative facts” world, I have a small dog I could pick up and easily carry up those stairs. But the reality is, I have a 95 pound one with bad hips who can do three, maybe four at best, and only if the steps are carpeted. And yet, I start thinking “well, it’s ok, I could make it work…” Sigh.
On the other end of that spectrum, I see places that are NOTHING like what I want- in questionable area, with no parking, and no laundry facilities – and start the same routine. And this is not new behavior. I think back to the places I considered when looking for our 1st home, and how I was ready to settle for less and make it work. And don’t get me started on relationships! How many did I have where I knew it wasn’t right, but “I could make it work”?
Last night, when I caught myself falling into that old pattern, when I heard the phrase “I could make it work” start to be uttered in my subconscious, I decided to add a second part to it: …but I don’t need to.
I am nothing, if not adaptable and flexible. I am creative and competent and self-aware. And above all, I am WORTHY of getting what I need and want. Yes, I can make that which is not quite right work.
But I don’t need to.
If it’s my dream, why not shoot for the stars? It’s worth a try. And I’m worth it.