I am a person who prides herself on being able to manage a lot at one time. I am capable of doing a variety of things and organized enough to have been able to manage a full-time job, a household of 3 kids, a husband, a dog and assorted other small animals, volunteer commitments and everything that comes with motherhood.
How did I do it? With a lot of angst. As I reminded everyone in subtle and not-so-subtle ways, it would all work well if people would just do it my way!!! And this happened, oh…about never. I was CONSTANTLY in a state of stress. Forget balance – I just wanted to feel some serenity…NOW.
It was around this time when a friend introduced me to three words that helped save my sanity and probably my health:
This sounds simple but my stuff was all tied up in pride and control and self-worth issues. If I let someone help me, am I not announcing defeat? Am I saying I am helpless? Am I replaceable? Yes, issues for me to work on!
I have seen this pattern time and time again with women who are unbelievably talented and competent, who work themselves into unhealthy states of being because they will not let go. I have seen women complain that their partners don’t help out around the house…and then criticize them when they do. I have seen women who have no problem delegating tasks at work, but are afraid to ask a neighbor for help.
Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. Try looking at this from a different perspective. Allowing people to help you makes others feel needed and important. It builds trust and allows others to learn and grow and improve their skills as well. And if you have children, it teaches them both self-care and good habits for their future.
Let someone help. Give up your need for control – and don’t take it back if someone didn’t fold the towel the way you would. (OK, this is one I am guilty of doing…) Your time is valuable. YOU are valuable. Share the wealth.