I am an extremely competent person. No, I really am. I can navigate around foreign countries by myself. I can change a tire. I can figure out which smoke detector is beeping at 3am, and change the batteries. Heck, I can even put together any IKEA piece, all by myself.
Here’s the thing with being that competent: Sometimes it’s hard to ask for help. It seems like some type of a failing on my part.
Oh, there are times I am more than willing to admit I need help. Like, is that a hair or a poisonous spider I feel on my back? I don’t know and can’t tell and I need help – NOW. (For the record, it has never been a spider…but you never know.) Or the more mundane: I can’t always open a jar. More and more often I have to ask for help. I’ve accepted this about myself now.
But, outside of these few instances, I rarely ask. And for those times when I really couldbenefit from the advice and counsel and wisdom of another, it’s not always my first thought. I generally struggle and try – and try again, until finally I realize I need the help of a coach, or a therapist, or a doctor, or even just a good friend.
Losing weight is just one more of those situations. I had a perfect plan on how to “release the weight” prior to my son’s wedding in December. Reasonable, achievable, doable. It worked really well for about 3 months. And then… all bets were off. And no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that “I’ve got this”, one look at the calendar, and the mirror, assured me that I did not have all the time in the world to achieve my goals. And then there were these additional “nudges” to convince me it was time to get serious:
- When you have to wear Spanx in the heat of the summer to prevent your legs from rubbing together when you walk
- When pulling up said Spanx is such an ordeal, that you actually put a RUN in them! Now who does that?!
- And, when you develop a neurological condition from wearing them (**see PSA below!!!)
Now, being this competent person, I know how to lose weight and how to exercise – I’ve done it for decades, successfully. But sometimes, I just need a little boost and someone to guide me along the way. I decided it was time to give up the Spanx, and a few extra pounds, and signed up for an exercise and nutrition program. I finally admitted I just could not do it – this time – on my own. So far, after a brutal 1stweek of daily exercise – unlike the leisurely kind I’d been doing – and sugar detoxing (no issues here!!!), I am now feeling stronger and healthier. It’s only the beginning of this latest journey, but I am looking forward to following through with this commitment to myself. And I freely admit (now) that I needed help. It amazes me why I wait so long.
Besides, there will be pictures at the wedding…
So, when you are feeling frustrated, and stuck, and just not able to get your highly-competent-self headed in the right direction, reach out. There is NO shame in it. In fact, it is an act of self-love. Ask for recommendations. Notice people who are where you want to be and see how they got there. Find that coach that can help you get unstuck, that therapist that can help you clear your mind, or that professional to get you the answers you desire.
And you might just save yourself and others unneeded aggravation and pain in the process!
Two words: Get Help. Best thing you can do for yourself today or any day!
*PSA: There actually IS a condition known as Meralgia Paresthetica, which involves compression of the femoral nerve due to wearing tight clothing, like Spanx. It causes pain in the lower back, radiating down to the quad where you can experience pain, tingling, and burning sensations. Acupuncture, exercise and knocking off wearing those tight garments will eventually help heal it!!
C’mon, all you have to do is: 1. Go gluten free; 2. Go dairy free; 3. Go alcohol free; 4. Go sugar free; 5. Exercise at least 3 times a week for 30 + minutes. You’ll lose weight, I guarantee it. Otherwise, go ahead and gain. Luv ya, Bob Klein
Yep…and sometimes you know all that and you STILL need someone there to provide the framework and hold you accountable!
Great motivating article. Thanks for sharing. I am going to look for some kind of program like that!